yet another blog #2

I haven't been posting here as all my energy has gone on surviving lately. With studies, kids and a wife, as well as a photoblog, I just haven't been motivated to use this blog. But strange as it may seem, I've created a new blog! What? Why? Well, oringinally I just wanted to install it on my own server, as opposed to this one being hosted elsewhere. But then I thought about it, and figured I really do want another blog, and so I am hoping the difficulty and effort of setting up a WordPress blog might make me start blogging again.

In any case, my new blog is Photografica Weblog.

photografica blog

In the off chance that anyone in the universe actually stumbles across this electronic flotsam, I can announce that photografica creative services is open for business. Visit photografica.com.au for all your photographic, web site design and writing needs. :) Also, check out my personal blog here. I will be posting a photo a day.

to blog or not to blog

I'm actually more interested in a photoblog at this point in my life. My writing has taken a back seat to photography at this point in time, but a photoblog needs a good design and a lot of energy.. But just look at the possible result. www.chromasia.com must be the best photoblog on the web. Awesome work at times.

I've never managed to keep a consistent diary in my life, so I don't see why a blog would be any different.

Anyway, I'll post here as I see fit.

Here is a random photo:

A New Life

I've just reviewed my 1000 things to do before I die list. It's mid 2006, and I've been skydiving, I've grown a beard, and I'm a quarter way through a Diploma of Photography. Things happen if you make them.

a clearing in the woods

It's been a tough few months...

I've been doing a lot of brooding. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been distant, unattached, depressed, confused, angry, and lost.

I'm still in the middle of it all.

Answers are so god-damned hard to come by at times.

For a couple of weeks, I just put life on hold, and retreated into mindless relief - superficial, yet enjoyable. A holiday retreat called the Internet.

That is until my wife reminded me that I had a family, and responsibilities that came with that. If I didn't pick up my share of the load, it fell to her.

I'm still in the woods. It's dark, I still can't find my direction, and I'm feeling a little cold and tired and lonely. But it's not all gloomy. I can see up through the trees that the sun is shining, and I can hear birds singing. I think there is a clearing coming up where I can rest a while and renew my energies.

But such emptiness cannot be filled by prattle, or verbiage as I have so blithely called it.

I'll be back when I have something further to say.

Queen On Fire At The Bowl

QUEENONLINE.COM

Queen - On Fire - Live at the Bowl

One of the best rock bands in the world, no doubt! 14 years have passed since Freddie Mercury died, but Queen is still a huge name around the world. Today (in Europe at least) they released the new live dvd, from a concert in 1982.

You want to see why Queen are considered to be one of the ultimate live acts in the world - watch this dvd. It will blow you away.

limbo dancer

Two weeks later, and I'm still in limbo. By choice really. I had already decided to take a holiday, and now I've done that. But I'm no further to figuring out how I'm going to secure an income. I don't want a shitty job. That's not laziness either. I've worked like a dog for next to nothing the last twelve months, and it's just plain stupid. Neither do I want a career, with a high wage and long hours. Money is nothing if you have no time to spend it. I'm not going to waste my life for a decade of retirement. I might die in a car crash the day before I retired...

So what do I do? I'm not sure. My life is in a holding pattern while I think. We won't starve. I could get a job driving taxis again pretty easily I think, but I am loathe to do it. I want to start my own business, as this seems like the best of options, but I don't have a lot of capital. (Face it, I have next to none :))

I'm waiting. Maybe something will pop up in my time of need. The direction of my life is open again. That, at least, is something to celebrate. I think I'll have a beer :)

new direction

What a weekend. Howard wins the election (argghhhh...) and then I get fired. Shit.
It was definately the worst job I have ever had in my life, but it was also at times, very enjoyable. Not to mention that it paid the bills. Now I am officially unemployed. Shit. Ooops, I said that already didn't I. Murray, I hope you boil in the fat of eternal damnation (or whatever fire and brimstone end of the world scenario it is you Seventh day types believe in). Shit.

scattered ambition

I heard this phrase in a film the other night. A good film - it was called "Personal Velocity". Very interesting film-making, a very atypical American film. Certainly not for everyone, but quite good.

But this phrase stuck out to me. It was in relation to one of the caharcters, explaining why their life was where it was. I just thought 'yep, that's me.'

Scattered ambition(s) - I've never been of those types that were highly and narrowly focussed. I've always been a try this and try that kind of guy. I've been good at every job I've ever had. I mean above average good. I have skills - there's no doubt about that. I learn quickly and I'm a good thinker and a hard worker. But I have scattered ambition... Sounds good doesn't it. Sounds like the title of a book, or the name of a rock band :)

I've always been careful not to become too ambitious, as I don't think it a very worthy quality, full of lusting and desire as it is. But maybe I haven't focussed quite enough, as a lack of ambition is also a dangerous attitude.

It begs the question though, doesn't it. To me it sounds like a criticism, as if ambition should not be scattered. I suppose that sounds right. If you are going to be ambitious, it makes more sense to narrowly focus those ambitions. But what about ambition? Is it a good thing, something that we should all accept and teach our children? I think the answer might be rather more complicated that most might think.

100 things to do before I die (Part 2)

11. Have a really good organic home garden, providing my family and I with a good share of our needs.
12. Go 10 years without having a cigarette
13. Get rid of my excess weight
14. Lead my children by example
15. Listen to another 1000 hours of Queen ballads :)
16. Master Photoshop
17. Give up driving taxis
18. Read Cold Mountain in one sitting in a quiet place
19. Marry my wife once more
20. Forgive my parents...